Free PDF Swynmoor, by Joelle Mellon
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Swynmoor, by Joelle Mellon
Free PDF Swynmoor, by Joelle Mellon
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Lord Tomlin is a bachelor, but he won’t be for long if his overbearing aunt has anything to say about it. She’s picked out a potential mate with an “acceptable” bloodline, but Tomlin has his eye on a pretty young acolyte who recently arrived at the castle. An mercenary army is encamped outside the gates, threatening to attack at any moment. And of course there’s a barrel of magic pickles… Joelle Mellon combines the deadpan hilarity of P.G. Wodehouse with the magic of Terry Pratchett in Swynmoor.
- Sales Rank: #3270259 in Books
- Published on: 2014-10-14
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 9.00" h x .31" w x 6.00" l, .42 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 124 pages
About the Author
Joelle Mellon received a B.A. in creative writing from Carnegie Mellon University and a master’s degree in library science from San Jose State University. Her first book, The Virgin Mary in the Perceptions of Women, was published by McFarland & Company in 2008. When she writes fiction, she prefers to focus on fantasy/sf, as she has been a huge fan of those genres since before J.K. Rowling made them socially acceptable. Her work has also appeared in several internationally distributed magazines, including Renaissance, Pirates, and most regularly, Faerie. Over time, she has come to understand that books, cats and tea are all she really needs to be happy.
Most helpful customer reviews
5 of 5 people found the following review helpful.
'What is your name?' 'Kerris Seaborn, my lady. I've been selected to make the traditional speech to you in Old Reachian'
By Grady Harp
We may know nothing about Joelle Mellon - yet - but when word gets around about the brilliance of writing of this her first novel (there being no other evidence of further books and certainly no biography to fill in the readers as to her background or even where she lives), this is a name that will rise to the top of the heap. Joelle has that curious combination of mindset that seems to embrace old British (or other ancient country) stories with a healthy dollop of humor, making reading her story one of entertainment on every page. This lady knows how to write, and if this is indeed a debut novel, watch out world!
Two planes of society are present as the story unfolds - the wealthy and the impoverished with the nuns in the middle. We first meet a young acolyte in the pickle basement of an Abbey: `She (Kerris Seaborn) had lived at Swynmoor Abbey since she had been a tiny baby, left at the front gate by someone who did not feel up to the task of raising a child in a year when the harvest had been particularly poor. A Foundling.' Kerris is bright as a student in the Abbey but her pickle making is subnormal so she heads to the library to find books on how to improve this money-making process for the nuns, or, pickling magic - motions and Old Reachian words that removed the mold from her pickled pepper crock. Sister Goldrose informs her now that her pickles as a good as her studies that she has been elected to be sent to pay for the annual taxes that the nuns rather grudgingly paid to the nobles for allowing them to operate the abbey on their land of Swynmoor Castle because she speaks Old Reachian like the rich folks. Meanwhile at Swynmoor Castle, we meet handsome young bachelor Lord Tomlin who as chief guardian of the castle is facing two problems: `Reynaud the Black was rapidly approaching, intent on attacking the castle with his terrible army of ogres and Fomorians. The second rider had come from the West, bringing the message that Tom's Aunt Jilona would also soon be descending upon the castle. She was planning to stay for several weeks and would be accompanied by a girl named Topaz Stonemont. ("Lady Swynmoor and Lady Topaz Stonemont!" They looked like a pair of tropical birds that had flown down from the sky, only to find that they had somehow landed in a climate that was entirely unsuitable for them.') Tom's formidable aunt believed that the young lady would make an excellent bride for him.' Into this mess arrives Kerris with her tax paying pickles and Tom immediately has eyes for the Foundling. Oh, we could go on with the intricacies of this sophisticated madcap tale, but that would dampen the joy of reading to the newcomer.
Joelle's fine tuned writing and keen sense of parody of aristocracy and `old manners' as well as love story development under less than favorable conditions makes of a short but rich book that gives notice of a promising young new talent. SWYNMOOR is a pleasure on every level. Highly recommended. Grady Harp, October 14
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
A novel I've nejoyed
By Brianna
I could have said I will love this book after seeing its cover - and after reading it, I realized I was not wrong at all. Some people really have it in their blood to write, and the author of this book is one of those people, in my opinion. If I would summarize the book in a couple of words I would say it is a well written parody about life and love, and how these two are experienced both by the wealthy and the less fortunate people. Joelle Mellon wonderfully provides an overview of this unique world by focusing on those less fortunate, like Kerris, and on those who were lucky to be born in a wealthy family, like the young Lord Tumlin, following their evolution throughout the book and the challenges that both lifestyles have to offer to the young characters. Their encounter, their challenges - are all revealed in a funny and unique way. It is actually strange to a certain extent to see how pickle making activities mix with manners and arranged love stories. The details, the humorous fashion in which the author builds the story and sets the stage is really opening the gates to an enchanting travel back in time. I have enjoyed this book - is something else than what is often available for book lovers today, it is the kind of book that stayed with me even after finishing it.
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
Laugh out loud (really)
By Chelsey McQuitty
I think the thing that strikes me about Swynmoor is the amazing comedic value it has. After reading the description of the book I was already prepared for an awesome story, but when Mellon starts in with her humor it won my heart.
The book is crafted incredibly well. There's a great plot, characters and the dialogue isn't cheesy like in a lot of books that contain the same subject matter. I liked that it flowed well which made it feel like I was only reading it for a few minutes when really hours had passed by.
I hope this author is coming out with another book soon. I'd love to see more of this type of story and writing on the market than some of the other stuff that's actually getting way too much attention. If you haven't yet read this book then do yourself a favor and pick it up. It'll knock you out of a bad mood in no time flat.
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